Effective Leadership Vs Bullying
Everybody wants to be that one in a million business leader, calm, cool, confident, and capable. Anyone who has ever worked in any industry can tell you that plenty of managers just come across as bullies instead.
Nobody wants to be a bully. Well, nobody who has gotten past sixth grade with all their teeth, anyway. However, how much of people’s attempts to seem capable, confident, and managerial just wind up as bullying and toxic instead? We all want to seem confident because we know that confidence attracts people. Trying to imitate confidence, however, never works.
At the core, confidence is a state of mind. Bullies are afraid that they’re less than, really. They’re desperately hoping that nobody notices how small they are. Confident people know exactly who they are, their strengths and weaknesses. Confidence stems from feeling secure enough to be “big”, so to speak. How many of us fear being shown up as the idiots we believe ourselves to be?
Stop. Right there. To get through it, we have to change how we think about ourselves first. If you can imagine how you’d act if you weren’t frightened, how generous you’d be, how your character would express itself, that’s what to do right now. Banish fear and anxiety as much as possible.
Bullies and bad leaders project negativity. They bring the people under them crashing down with micromanagement, criticism, and treating others as “less than”. It has never worked well in human history and nothing has changed today.
Are we some kind of superior human to be lecturing you? No, no we’re not. We’ve all done it, and been bitten by it. Everybody has anxiety, and everyone reacts fearfully from time to time. Learn from our mistakes and experience. We want to give you ways to shape your business communication so you can excel.
Respect Always Comes First
We’ve all known bosses who believe they’re being confident and leading when really they’re just abrasive and unpleasant. These managers rely on a command and control style of leadership in all circumstances. “My way or the door” doesn’t inspire respect from anyone. It encourages an atmosphere where the employees don’t care, and the odds of miscommunication soar. Nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news, so business crisis compounds on business crisis till it’s too late.
Confident people instinctively give respect to get respect. To do it, we recommend:
- Delegating necessary tasks, giving clear deadlines and trusting that the job will be performed well
- Supporting subordinates’ decisions, particularly in front of others
- Giving public credit for successes large and small
- Never gossiping or showing favoritism
- Expecting progress and improvement, not perfection
Bullying managers believe that their titles confer the power to run their own dictatorships. Positive assertiveness is not aggression, and it’s important not to confuse the two. Any questioning from subordinates will be answered with some variant of, “Because I said so.”
Confident managers see their people as people, and know that everyone needs to work as a team. They are aware that leader is just one position within the team, and all the other positions are needed as well. Instead of saying, “my way or the highway,” confident leaders take the time needed to communicate situations to their people. For instance, they may say, “We have these goals, and here are the key action items we need to do now. Let’s set up a time to talk about the goals themselves and how to move forward once these immediate items are taken care of.”
Open Space For Improvement
Confident managers hold space open for team members to accomplish projects, make decisions, and take ownership for their own decisions. When something starts going off the rail, confident leaders step up and give guidance in cooperative ways instead of confrontational. One of the best ways to start productive conversations is, “How do you think the project is going?”
Opening this way creates dialogue that gives subordinates the opportunity to communicate their decision making processes. Insight into those makes it easy for a good manager to make suggestions for improvement without creating resentment. Good follow up comments include examples like, “What’s the next step?” or “You might want to talk to Kim, she’s been through this situation before and might have something useful for you.”
Leaders with issues often allow team members to dangle in the world without a safety net, refusing to support the people under them.
Successful managers keep the focus on clear goals and measurable results so employees can grow their skills. Mistakes will happen, and feedback needs to support learning from those mistakes instead of shutting down. For example, “Ok, that didn’t go as planned, but we can get a win. What can we learn from this, what were the problems? We’ll work through them together.”
Leaders Build Supportive Teams With Education
Good leaders know that part of the point is replacing themselves. When their subordinates can step up into their place, leadership has succeeded. They know that they themselves are rising, and aren’t afraid of being replaced. When you create a continuous educational environment, you groom your team members to grow in skill, confidence, and performance.
Ask your people how they’d like to stretch, what projects they’d like to take on, what they know they need to work on. People aren’t stupid, they often know what challenges they face and are happy to work on them.
Confident bosses know that they’re supported by the people working under them, so they find ways to help their people do their best. Doing so doesn’t have to be complicated. A quick check in, “How’s it going?” successfully conveys concern, interest, and awareness to employees as well as open the door for guidance.
One size does not fit all
Excellent leaders recognize their employees’ strengths, mindset, goals, motivations and triggers, and are flexible enough change their styles to fit each team member’s needs. They maintain awareness that flexibility in style forms their greatest strength.
For instance, they take the time to learn which team member needs a soft, indirect approach, such as “Have you considered…” and the teammates who respond better to straight talk “Hey, this approach isn’t working. Let’s talk about what needs to change.” Managers who presume that employees will adapt themselves to any given style, like it or not, probably won’t earn much respect or loyalty from their subordinates.
In today’s world, it is increasingly common for diverse work teams to be made up of multiple generations, genders, life stages and nationalities. This modern reality means that it’s more critical than ever for managers to be cognizant of how they present to employees.
To embody great manager who everyone wants to work for, you need confidence in yourself and your people. In the end, it is your ability to maintain a positive attitude that determines whether you come across as a confident boss.
Why Is This Published By A Business Phone Company?
Here at NoContractVoIP, we believe that your success is our success. And, since we specialize in business communication, we also want to help you communicate better. To get the latest helpful content delivered to your inbox every month, subscribe to our newsletter here.
Looking for the finest stress-free custom business telephone systems? Contact us or call today at 866-550-0005!